So Far...

Well, it's quite overdue that I write something. I usually only ever write when I'm inspired to, but just out of sheer boredom I think I'll write today.

I have graduated from college and since then, so much and so little has happened. It seems like forever ago that I was in school and that I was living in Columbia with fat-cat Mr. Werthers. Now, I'm here... living in an apartment that has a beautiful location and even has a great deal, yet I escape to my parent's house any chance I get... I think I do to avoid the drama at my apartment. I'm just so much more comfortable at my parent's house. I feel like I can be the closest thing to "me" as possible, apart from being at CIU.

I think I'm in an introverted stage right now. I just kind of want to be left alone; feel free to do my own thing, without being judged for it or someone constantly trying to diagnose me for what I'm going through, etc. (Which I'm not "going through" anything by the way, just... adjusting).

I'm jobless at the moment. I've found quite a few jobs in the paper... but I've yet to get around to applying for any of them. It seems I'm not such a "go-getter". I spend my time watching Food Network more than I'd like to admit; I have a hard time with the 4 year old that I live with because he's disrespectful; I think his mother is a drama queen and gossip and that annoys the crap out of me; I think he needs to be more disciplined; I wish he were mine sometimes so I could discipline him properly; I'm in no way ready to be a mother.

I haven't really talked to God in awhile... I haven't read His Word in such a long time and I miss it.

I'll be traveling to Boston this weekend and spending it with Sara... I pray this is the breath of fresh air that I need.

Carpe Diem?

It is currently 4 in the morn' and I am awake, but not by choice.
I was supposed to get up at 3 in order to type a paper and email it off, but I was just a bit tired that I needed the extra 45 minutes, now it's too late and I must pack, for I'm leaving on a plane bound for New Hampshire this morning. The Weather Channel says it's going to be in the 20's this week... I'm not sure I can handle it.

So, it's back to "familiar" things. Things of my past and things of my future? I imagine there will be much reflection this break. I'm about to be 22 and there is also something about this time of year that makes me think a lot. There was so much I had planned for my life at 22... and not much of it has happened. Other things did... great things and horrible things, but not most of what I've planned. I'm bound and determined not to let it get to me too much because I know that I have a Savior who altered my destination by His act of grace, therefore, I know my life is now going according to HIS plan. It is a comfort though to know that He is in control... my life would be a mess if I was. There is quite a freedom in that.

So, I'm still learning, in case you hadn't noticed. I desire to be teachable. I desire to be strong in character. I desire to be a blessing.
There is still so much I hope for, and honestly I don't think I'll ever know what's next... I just pray that I enjoy the ride rather than wish away the moment... I know I'm young, but the older I get, the more real it is to me how brief life is.
Well... "Carpe Diem", right?

Lonely Moon

Sometimes when I look at the moon, I can't help but notice how lonely it looks and wonder, if it had feelings, is that how it would feel?

As I get older and the holiday season rolls around, it seems a bit more noticeable. John Mayer says in his song, St. Patrick's Day, "No one likes to be alone at Christmas time"... John-boy was on to something.

I guess I chalk it up to the fact that I don't feel like either place, (NH or SC), is really "home". I don't "belong" in NH anymore and SC will only be where I'm at for another 2 years... then what? One day, just maybe, a travel companion will be provided. ;)

It seems most of my friends are entering relationships. It's been slightly difficult to watch and has possibly added to my confusion in a significant way. As I was processing just last week, a friend said to me, "If they were or are the right person, wouldn't there be more clarity?" She's right I think... Wouldn't I know? If so, there is nothing now. There is no clarity and I'm left to "Expect the worst and Hope for the Best."

It's not always the best or most fun place to be...