Carpe Diem?

It is currently 4 in the morn' and I am awake, but not by choice.
I was supposed to get up at 3 in order to type a paper and email it off, but I was just a bit tired that I needed the extra 45 minutes, now it's too late and I must pack, for I'm leaving on a plane bound for New Hampshire this morning. The Weather Channel says it's going to be in the 20's this week... I'm not sure I can handle it.

So, it's back to "familiar" things. Things of my past and things of my future? I imagine there will be much reflection this break. I'm about to be 22 and there is also something about this time of year that makes me think a lot. There was so much I had planned for my life at 22... and not much of it has happened. Other things did... great things and horrible things, but not most of what I've planned. I'm bound and determined not to let it get to me too much because I know that I have a Savior who altered my destination by His act of grace, therefore, I know my life is now going according to HIS plan. It is a comfort though to know that He is in control... my life would be a mess if I was. There is quite a freedom in that.

So, I'm still learning, in case you hadn't noticed. I desire to be teachable. I desire to be strong in character. I desire to be a blessing.
There is still so much I hope for, and honestly I don't think I'll ever know what's next... I just pray that I enjoy the ride rather than wish away the moment... I know I'm young, but the older I get, the more real it is to me how brief life is.
Well... "Carpe Diem", right?

Grace

I'm on my knees

Only memories are left for me to hold.

Don't know how, but I'll get by

Slowly pull myself together (I'll get through this)

There's no escape

So keep me safe

This feels so unreal.

Nothing comes easily

Fill this empty space

Nothing is like it seems

Turn my grief to Grace.

I feel the cold

Loneliness unfold

From another world

Come what may I won't fade away,

but I know I might change.

Nothing comes easily

Fill this empty space

Nothing is like it was

Turn my grief to Grace.

Nothing comes easily where do I begin?

Nothing can bring me peace, I've lost everything.

I just want to feel Your embrace..

I love this song. It reminds me of how I've been lately, how my thoughts have been lately. The past has come into my mind so frequently it seems. I don't know that I have any emotions over it, it's just been in my thoughts, even dreams. I'm okay, actually I'm really good. I just wonder if as the date approaches faster and faster how I'll be holding up? Will I be too busy to notice? I trust that I'll get through all of it, with God's strength, yes.. I will!... Just as the line says, I pray that God will continue to turn my grief to Grace.

I desire to feel Him more than anything I ever have...

Circles

It seems again, my call is to wait. It seems to be all that I do...
Wait for tomorrow...
Wait for summer...
Wait on God...
Wait for something more...

I've become tired again, I think.

My friends have been so patient.

I've continued to lose mine.

Denouement

"It doesn't have to be perfect like a movie scene"... it just has to happen.

One can't be afraid...

"Love is almost always accidental" (according to Baumer).

My heart is hopeful... for reasons unexplainable.