Working for Dave Barnes

Okay, so I don't REALLY work for him, but I was a volunteer worker last night at his show in NH. I got to work his Merch Booth for the evening and after everything was said and done, I got to meet him!!! It was so exciting. I was such a nerd too, because the only thing I could come up with to say when I first met him was "I'm such a big fan".. in response he told me he was a big fan of mine as well. ;)

So, I got 2 free cds, his autograph, a sticker and a shirt, plus going to the show for free. It was quite the experience.

Here is the lovely picture:

Deep Breath

I’ve been really thankful these past few months for God answering my prayer of contentment. I’ve been so secure and not desiring things out of their time. It has been one of the most refreshing things to experience.

It has been so good that even the thought, I mean actual deep thought of being in a relationship, and I start to feel claustrophobic. Literally, my body tenses and my mind starts to panic in a way. I end up shutting the thought out and I go on being content. It has been this way for, I’d say about 5 months, maybe?

And then this weekend happened.

I had a great visit with my best friend from college and we spent it walking around the city of Boston. Aside from the extreme heat and awful pain of walking in poor shoes, it was great. The thing is, I met someone. However, I didn’t “meet someone” like everyone else puts it. I mean, I just met a guy, who happens to be sweet, funny, way too smart for me, and very attractive. There was nothing “exciting” or anything…but ever since I’ve left Boston, a lot has been on my mind, including this person. It’s just such a change from these past few months, yet I’m trying all I can to keep my mind off of it.

So what is this?

Am I realizing that it just may be quite nice to have a companion or do I just need to wait a few more days where time and distance will help me forget? Maybe it’s just a wake up call that I do still need to keep preparing myself for the future. I do need to grow in the Word and in my relationship with God. I need to be self-sufficient, responsible and dependable.

Apparently this is growing up. Learning patience, growing in grace and taking it day-by-day seems to be the essential steps in this process… or at least mine.

A deep breath... Here I go.

So Far...

Well, it's quite overdue that I write something. I usually only ever write when I'm inspired to, but just out of sheer boredom I think I'll write today.

I have graduated from college and since then, so much and so little has happened. It seems like forever ago that I was in school and that I was living in Columbia with fat-cat Mr. Werthers. Now, I'm here... living in an apartment that has a beautiful location and even has a great deal, yet I escape to my parent's house any chance I get... I think I do to avoid the drama at my apartment. I'm just so much more comfortable at my parent's house. I feel like I can be the closest thing to "me" as possible, apart from being at CIU.

I think I'm in an introverted stage right now. I just kind of want to be left alone; feel free to do my own thing, without being judged for it or someone constantly trying to diagnose me for what I'm going through, etc. (Which I'm not "going through" anything by the way, just... adjusting).

I'm jobless at the moment. I've found quite a few jobs in the paper... but I've yet to get around to applying for any of them. It seems I'm not such a "go-getter". I spend my time watching Food Network more than I'd like to admit; I have a hard time with the 4 year old that I live with because he's disrespectful; I think his mother is a drama queen and gossip and that annoys the crap out of me; I think he needs to be more disciplined; I wish he were mine sometimes so I could discipline him properly; I'm in no way ready to be a mother.

I haven't really talked to God in awhile... I haven't read His Word in such a long time and I miss it.

I'll be traveling to Boston this weekend and spending it with Sara... I pray this is the breath of fresh air that I need.

A Day in Asheville.

I’m sitting in Asheville, NC looking out the window at the grey, wet street while the sounds of jazz ring in my ears. This run down, sort of disturbing area has this sweet tone to it. It is very much bohemian sheik.

While eating a Lemon Bavarian dessert with fresh raspberries and sipping an extremely strong café latte’ I am brought back to my evening in Paris two summers ago. As gloomy as it might be here, there is a hint of summer in the breeze.

This is a much needed break from my life. To be here where nobody knows who I am. To them, I am just a girl in the brown sweater typing away on her computer about “only God knows what.” … although I do not know what opinion of me they have created in their mind, to me I feel that I look like a food critic (something I’ve always wanted to be), typing up my opinions of their dessert and coffee…. This is most definitely needed at this time in my life.

I have struggled lately with the impending close of this life chapter. I imagine that graduation day will be very difficult for me to get through. There are so many unknowns and yet life doesn’t pause and let you work through the details. The same responsibilities are still there no matter how long you try to avoid them; they won’t disappear.
I’ve been relishing lately on how big this chapter of my life has been, this being the chapter of college. It has been far greater than the previous eighteen years of my life and I just don’t know how to close it. The best way I can describe it is this way:

There is no way to avoid closing this chapter in my life. I am so afraid of turning the page, and yet I am dying to know what is on the other side.

This is where I have needed to call upon Christ; my strength and hope. I do not know the details; I only know what I learn each passing day. I know my desires and have been discouraged by trying to figure out the way to attain them… yet, God brings me back to Himself and I fall at His feet in need or surrender. Sometimes, it is day to day. Other times, it is hour by hour. Truly, it is a constant battle… but the comforting thought is this:

I belong to the Victor!

And so, I am about to head back to this house in Asheville where I am spending one more night, and then back to the school where I am teaching one more day. I’ll pack my bags and head back to Columbia to the life that will shortly end; a life of deadlines, books, friends and cafeteria food. As dull as that may sound, I pray it doesn’t go too fast and I pray to savor the moment- receiving all of it’s benefits and cherishing the moment I’m in.

In a short period of time real life will set in and the life of a grown up I’ll be living.
The strength of the Lord will be needed in more ways than one.

Jesus, I Come.

I'm not quite at a point where I can write much... but through a friend, I came accross this Hymn (again) and as I read the words, there was such a stirring within me... as if this is what my soul has needed these past few weeks.
I can't imagine that one can read/sing/meditate on these words and not feel compelled to just fall before the LORD in worship...

Out of my bondage, sorrow, and night,

Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;

Into Thy freedom, gladness, and light,

Jesus, I come to Thee;

Out of my sickness, into Thy health,

Out of my want and into Thy wealth,

Out of my sin and into Thyself,

Jesus, I come to Thee.

Out of my shameful failure and loss,

Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;

Into the glorious gain of Thy cross,

Jesus, I come to Thee.

Out of earth’s sorrows into Thy balm,

Out of life’s storms and into Thy calm,

Out of distress to jubilant psalm,

Jesus, I come to Thee.

Out of unrest and arrogant pride,

Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;

Into Thy blessèd will to abide,

Jesus, I come to Thee.

Out of myself to dwell in Thy love,

Out of despair into raptures above,

Upward for aye on wings like a dove,

Jesus, I come to Thee.

Out of the fear and dread of the tomb,

Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;

Into the joy and light of Thy throne,

Jesus, I come to Thee.

Out of the depths of ruin untold,

Into the peace of Thy sheltering fold,

Ever Thy glorious face to behold,

Jesus, I come to Thee.