Stream of Consciousness

Bored and having many random things running through my head... its been far too long since I've written anything, so I thought "why not keep it simple for the first post back?" Welp, here goes...

-I usually "run" hot, but it is freezing in this office today. Wish I had a blanket.

-I've "met" a man. We actually met when I was 12 & he was 15. We were best friends in High school, lost touch for 7 years...got back in touch this past March and we've been talking every day since. This has been such a different time in my life...blessings, joys, struggles, love & growth. It's been an eventful 7 months for sure that were nothing short of wonderful.

-Fall is among us! The colors, smells, crisp mornings. The hope of this season is what gets me through the nasty summers. Bring on the scarves!

-I've started training for a 5k. If any of you know me, you know that I am not fit, nor have I ever run other than for the required "Mile Run" in high school or maybe to chase after an ice cream truck! I'm looking forward to the end result..even though its painful.

-My family is expecting its first baby! My sister is pregnant with my nephew, Collin Michael, who is expected to make his first appearance in the world in February. Couldn't be happier about this! He will undoubtedly be the most spoiled and loved baby on the planet. :)

-This past weekend, 6 out of 8 of a close group of college girls got together. Every time that we do, I feel such comfort. For 4 years, these women were "home" to me. Now we're growing up...3 are married and there are 5 babies in there somewhere. We're dispersed throughout the states, but somehow, when we get together its like we never left each other. It was such a great blessing to me to spend that time together.

-Galatians 5:22-23 has been on my mind a lot lately. I'm learning just how little of the spirit I am in tune with. I pray that He will continue to work in me.

-My best friend Sara & I are attempting to limit our Sugar intake until Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, Sugar is my kryptonite.

-Long distance relationships are not easy. When considering entering into it, I thought "eh, its no big deal, we can do this no problem..." Dang, I was quite naive. That man, Nicholas (Nick), has now moved to California...57 days until we see each other again. Ugh.

-This website gives me such inspiration! Check it out..I'm sure you'll love it too!

-61 days until Christmas! So looking forward to being in the beautiful landscape of New England and with my family. I laugh with them like no one else.

Well...I suppose I should get back to work. Have a great day all!

Something's Missing...

"Would you want me when I'm not myself? Wait it out while I am someone else?" - John Mayer

Man, it's been awhile. I really don't even know what to say or what words to use to describe how my life has been lately. Maybe the best word would be: lonely.
Yeah, I think that's the one.

Everyday is the same thing: Class, work, bed; repeat. I feel like I have so much to do, yet I don't feel like I'm ever doing anything. I don't have time to spend with people, yet I desire to immensely.
I've been learning a lot lately, especially in one particular class and it's helped me to understand a bit more about myself. I think my loneliness has to do with the fact that one, I've been busy, but two, that Quality time is an important thing to me. It's essential to fill my "love tank" as Dr. Gary Chapman says in his books. And this is something that has drastically been minimized in my life.

I think it's not so much the fact that people aren't trying to include me, but more that I don't have the time pour into other's lives. But then again, why aren't other's seeking my friendship? I find that slightly strange. Hmmm?...

Anyway, everything just seems to be on the downfall right now. I know that sounds dramatic, but I'm serious. I don't know where in my schedule I can move around, cut down or budge anything to balance it all... it seems it may have to be this way all semester.

Again, I'm just rambling, but it's nice to be able to write it down. I don't know what else to do, but give it to the LORD.. really is there anything else? I fear my deep desire to be consumed by and in the word of God is becoming faint. I know my heart still desires this, but the feeling of how strong it is seems to be going away... I don't want this, yet don't know how to fix it.

Father God, I pray that You would give me specific direction and that all I may think, say or do would honor Your name. I pray that You wouldn't just reign in my spiritual life, but in all areas of it. Help me along during this "gray" time I pray. I thank You for redeeming my soul from the pit of despair. You are my refuge and strength. I pray never to forget that. Amen.

Afternoon Conversation

"You're so patient... not many people put up with me."
"Hey, you're not much to put up with."

I think that is probably the best compliment that I've gotten in a long time... How about you?