An Update

It seems that I can't quite keep up with this.....
I come back around every year or so it seems.... Maybe if I had kept up with it, I'd have had an easier time getting through things. 

I re-read my last entry and decided to pick up from there...even though no one else reads this, I figure that might be best.

Its funny how things weigh on ones mind...and then how quickly those things fade away. 

Addressing those things that I last wrote: First, I still can't imagine what my sister and brother in law went through with the premature birth of my nephew; however, by God's grace, Collin is thriving and a happy boy! You can read about their whole journey at: Collinmadison.blogspot.com . In fact, we were able to see God's plan through it...as Collin was born in November instead of his due date of the following February, which allowed for my sister to get pregnant again! Collin was three months old when she conceived  They now have a beautiful daughter, Delaney, who is 1 year and 15 days younger than Collin. You can see her growth at: Delaneymmadison.blogspot.com

As for the concerns about the lost and my future...those things are still concerns, but not as much. I'm no longer concerned about my future with Nick, because I have seen God move swiftly in his life. Nick has grown in his faith immensely; seeking God daily and desiring to grow more. Nick has become the rock and leader that I have always wanted and needed. He has led me back to the cross many times over this past year when I have become lost and blind. I am so grateful for him and to Him. In fact, our future is looking pretty bright, as we are getting married in just over two months! You can visit our website here: www.weddingwire.com/NickandAubrey .


As for the other stuff, my heart still gets weighed down when I think about the lost; how misguided and hard-hearted people become. The thing is, it hasn't been on my mind as much, as my heart itself has become rather hardened. Over the past two years, I have let fear and anxiety run my life. I know that it is by God's grace that I've made it through the toughest spots (that I know of). Due to the fear and anxiety, I have become quite calloused to the sin in my life and also more hardened toward the world. My relationship with God has become fairly non-existent, yet I still have this love/concern/passion/desire/faith/belief that won't let me go..which I am very thankful for. The desire is there to grow and become on fire again, its the motivation and action that is lacking...and I get discouraged so easily.

If anyone out there does read this, please pray that I would start to focus on the positive in life; that I would recognize the beauty and grace God has given me in life and not get so disheveled over small things. Pray that the motivation and action would begin and that I bear fruit once again. 

Thanks.