Deep Breath

I’ve been really thankful these past few months for God answering my prayer of contentment. I’ve been so secure and not desiring things out of their time. It has been one of the most refreshing things to experience.

It has been so good that even the thought, I mean actual deep thought of being in a relationship, and I start to feel claustrophobic. Literally, my body tenses and my mind starts to panic in a way. I end up shutting the thought out and I go on being content. It has been this way for, I’d say about 5 months, maybe?

And then this weekend happened.

I had a great visit with my best friend from college and we spent it walking around the city of Boston. Aside from the extreme heat and awful pain of walking in poor shoes, it was great. The thing is, I met someone. However, I didn’t “meet someone” like everyone else puts it. I mean, I just met a guy, who happens to be sweet, funny, way too smart for me, and very attractive. There was nothing “exciting” or anything…but ever since I’ve left Boston, a lot has been on my mind, including this person. It’s just such a change from these past few months, yet I’m trying all I can to keep my mind off of it.

So what is this?

Am I realizing that it just may be quite nice to have a companion or do I just need to wait a few more days where time and distance will help me forget? Maybe it’s just a wake up call that I do still need to keep preparing myself for the future. I do need to grow in the Word and in my relationship with God. I need to be self-sufficient, responsible and dependable.

Apparently this is growing up. Learning patience, growing in grace and taking it day-by-day seems to be the essential steps in this process… or at least mine.

A deep breath... Here I go.