-No Guy will ever want to be in a relationship with me because I'm too intense, loud and joke around too much (annoying).
-If I'm in control, it will always be my way.
-If I'm left out, than I must not be liked.
-If a friendship is uneven, where I give more than the other, that is horrible.
-I am always being watched and judged.
-If I'm obnoxious I won't be loved & accepted.
-If I'm not accepted, that's horrible.
-There's something wrong with me because I'm self-conscious.
-If I'm skinny, I'll be happy.
-Who I am as a person isn't enough.
-Who I am as a person does not have innate value.
-If I don't take care of someone, they won't love me.
-If I don't succeed, I'll be a disappointment.
-If I don't have it all together, I won't have a role.. I must live by my labels.
This is the long list my "counselor" came up with after only one session of Cognitive Therapy for class... Where did all of this come from? All of these "bad tapes" had to have started to record somewhere. I do feel all of these things sometimes, and this wasn't even the whole list. I feel helpless and not very confident that more sessions will help me re-write them into "good tapes".
I need prayer...
prayer is what I'm offering...
ReplyDeletealso an ear...
an arm (or two)...
Aubs...
ReplyDeleteCan I just say that you are loved?
You don't have to do anything, ever, and while I know that we don't see each other much, you are loved. Your friends love you. You don't have to do anything else but be who you are. Rest in Christ's love. He feels deep, intense love for you--a love that causes tears to come to his eyes. He really, really loves you. Don't let yourself forget that.
seeya aubsy.