It's a rainy day. A good description of how I feel inside. The sky must be crying, like my eyes...I still have the Lord's Joy in my heart, its just kind of hard to see past the grey rain clouds right now...
I've lost that whom was once my best friend...I've lost my first true love...I lost my protector...I lost that whom I care most for....All in the same day.
I really do have a peace about this. I understand that this is what God wants for this time. The reality of it all though...The fact that I can't take care of him anymore, that I can't protect him, that I can't love him like a long to...Is hitting like a ton of bricks.
I'm so sorry for this past year... I know its been a living hell.
I'm so sorry....
Lord,
I surrender this all to You. Please take care of him. Please guard him. I pray that one day there will be a restored connection and/or reconciliation. I love him deeply, in the purest of sense, and I ask that You lead him in Your will. I BEG OF YOU to take care of him.
I pray for You to heal the blisters on my heart, especially when I miss him...
Your work is perfect... I praise You for the growth You've allowed us to have. Lead us on Your path. -Amen
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