mmmm, tonight was so, so good...I feel at rest while I've been keeping busy...So, after all that happened last night, I came back, went to the "quiet room" on my hall and just sobbed for probably 10 minutes straight and then, as my face was burning, wrote Painful Delay... Even though that was all good, I still didn't wake up quite right today...
In fact, I hated who I was...I had a very bad attitude, (sorry to those I may have hurt if you met "Aubrey Attitude" today, that was very unkind and wrong of me. I apologize)...I knew that I couldn't go to work that way, that wasn't fair to the children, nor my co-workers, so I tried to snap out of it...
About 2 hours after I got to work, I was able to have a great conversation with this girl Amy, whom used to be a regular, but is away at college and came home to help this week...But the things we talked about, our feelings, situations and trying to figure out what to do with them and what God is trying to show us, was EXACTLY what I needed!! ....I can't even begin to explain how amazing it was! ...I've gained new insight to things I need to cover in prayer and maybe ways to make sure God is my absolute # 1...
Then, had a good conversation with my father for a bit, he apparently just called to tell me that he loved me...That was really nice of him. I actually believed him...
Then after I goofed around with my roommate for a bit and talked with some people from back home, I decided I needed some alone time...So I went to the kitchen and decided to bake some Oatmeal Raisin Chocolate Chip Cookies...YUM :)
As I was doing this and had my "alone time", I made it so that I wasn't alone...As I was mixing the ingredients, I kept saying, "God, this is me praising You, I am sharing my joy with You, something that makes me truly happy." ...MAN, that felt SO GOOD!!!...
Even though I followed the recipe to a "T", the first batch came out looking like brown goo! Normally, I'd be disappointed, but I didn't let it frustrate me and I continued to praise God for just allowing me to have the ability to spend time with Him and also attempt to bake...
Okay, so this might sound a little funny using the story of baking cookies as my illustration, but its so true, it helped me to realize again how important it is to worship Him even when things are not perfect...for things will never be perfect, because I am not perfect and if I expect that, then I am only going to become disappointed and continue the whole failure/success cycle...I don't like that cycle so much...So, I want it to stop...If I can find a way to praise Him while doing something as simple as baking, then I believe I can find an infinite number of ways to praise Him in daily life, whether it good or bad....
Oh, how great my Lord is...He's teaching me and I'm learning...
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