Hesitation

"As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect." -Psalm 18:30-32

You know what I hate, besides sin?....CONFUSION...yes, that's right. I hate it. I seem to always struggle with it. Do I do this or do I do that? Did they mean this or am I assuming things? Is this from the Lord or is it Satan playing games? Is this the best way to be pleasing or do I just think it will be, but it will really come back and bite me in the rear later on?

I do this a lot. I question myself and I question everything else. I over-analyze for sure. In one of my classes yesterday we had small groups and read Luke 5:1-11 about Jesus, Peter and the fishermen. When we were asked how we would have reacted, I answered : similar to how Peter did. Peter was hesitant when Jesus gave him an order...he questioned the Lord.

Reading through a lot of the other ones, I realized my answers were all similar to the first. No matter what the situation, I always question it. I especially question the Lord. I know that My Lord is good and I know that He wants best for me, but I find myself being hesitant when He says, "JUMP".

I think it has to do more with the old me, where as I've felt the Lord telling me to do certain things lately, even though I didn't want to, I did them anyway. So that is improvement...but there are still questions lurking over my head...It seems like my life has become just one giant question mark...Do you ever just wish that you could peak behind the curtains of the future, for only just a moments glance? I do....But I know that if I saw that, I probably wouldn't be as focused on my Spiritual Walk and I'd be more focused on how I can achieve that future sooner than I should. I'm glad I'm able to see my weaknesses now...

Although it would be grand to have some idea to the future and it may be what I want, I will "deny myself" and as I have done many times, I will continue to submit to His timing and plan daily. His timing is perfect, why would I want anything less?

Lord, Please continue to keep my eyes unveiled and don't let my walls be crumbled until You command them to come down. Keep me strong. Thank You for being so faithful and merciful. I hope I can inhabit those things. -Amen