Wake Up and Smell the Coffee

"I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you..." -Ephesians 2:18

Words of wisdom that I've been contemplating for days from the great Matthew Thiessen:
"...fall back on all of your premonitions and just learn to listen to those that have more wisdom than you. And just stop putting so much stock in all of this stuff...Live your life for those that you love."

As I was really thinking about these words, it finally hit me...why the heck would I let someone dictate my emotions when they aren't even involved in my life and apparently have chosen not to be a part of it later on? Why am I putting stock in this, it is clear that I should not... There is no need for me to be feeling like junk...look around me!...How many times has God blessed me this week when I've been acting like a wiener? Quite a few... What the heck? Why is my God so good to me? He continued to do this after I "woke up"...

I got home and read some things that wonderful people in my life wrote to me, such as...
"You are an overcomer Aubrey Morgan Bond...You have to remember what God has said about you through His word. You have to walk in His truth. Don't worry about your situation, just believe that God will fight this battle, and do trust, because He will win. "
also someone else..."I LOVE YOU!!!! I love you're precious spirit, your openness and vulnerability, your faith, your preserverance. you amaze me...don't "suck it up". it's so admirable that you are real. keep on being real -- with yourself, with God, with others. don't torture yourself and let junk build up until you explode. i don't want to see you explode. (Aubrey insides all over the place...not quite as pleasant as Aubrey outsides : ) ) "

This was great to hear...and helped to give me the strength I've needed for sometime. My visions and priorities have once again been altered, but in the best of ways...I know now the goals I need to have for myself, the goals I have for this year, the goals I want to achieve with God and the goals I have for my growth. I sat and talked with a friend for over an hour on the phone last night and it was so good to talk, its been sometime...and for the first time I ACTUALLY wanted to come back to school. It doesn't feel like an obligation anymore. I am so grateful! They helped me to remember the good times that I so easily forgot and gave me more to look forward to! Many nights of Fort BestFort Ever to come!

So things will not at all be how they were, just a heads up...I need to remind myself too...Some aren't going to know what hit them. Its really sad that some things have begun to harden my heart again and in all honesty, I can't find any kind words that I would be able to say if I were to see them in passing...but since this "revelation", I've had a better outlook on it..Its just really time for a change...

This may sound weird, but in all honesty, I'm excited about all of my pain: past, present and future...I'm excited for the woman that God is molding me into...I am SO looking forward to the day when God will receive the ULTIMATE glory out of all of this!! I realized that today...I just so want to be able to praise and worship and praise and worship...I'm so excited for it...but I so quickly forget that its probably most important to praise and worship in the down times...that to me shows more dedication and obedience...As I said before, that although I've been acting like a wiener this week, He's given me more than what I've asked for...What will He do when I'm acting like I should?? Hmmm....

I've realized that if I didn't get myself together, I would watch me fall apart all over and I can't let that happen again...That's no way to live my life. An even newer one starts at this very moment..whether anyone believes me or not.

My mind is now set on Philippians 4:8.." Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things."

Something tells me, this is going to make sense..something tells me its going to take patience...This will all work out in the end...Things are going to be great!