The Wheels Are In Overdrive

"Pain is God's Megaphone."
-C.S. Lewis

There are quite a few things about me that still need work...but that's the thing, they're being worked on...and not alone...

Lord,
A lot of confusion in everyday life... Its like I don't even feel like I can come here and write out stuff for it to be misread which could lead to only You know what...I don't know... That's the thing, I don't even know if I could write everything out, not sure it would make so much sense.

Feeling so many things at one time is awkward..in fact, its pretty annoying. At moments I could feel like a jerk, another I could feel on top of the world. Its weird. But its not depressing, glad I'm out of that stage...phew!

Things are still effecting my body...I thought that was gone since I decided to shut it all out, but nope...I confused myself and thought I was a leaf today...also my stomach felt like I had drank a whole pot of coffee on an empty stomach...not so fun.

Its weird, cuz I've been inbetween for the past couple of days. I'm definitely not depressed and I am doing great, but I'm kinda stuck in a "everything fades together" state. hmmm??

...Even though I'm feeling awkward, I guess that's the best word to use, Its nice to be refreshed with Your words...to be reminded of Your promises and to reflect on all that You and only You have brought me through...Never thought I, of all people, would say this, but I do not want a speedy recovery...I want to soak up every moment so that I know how to be more like my Savior, my shield, my heart, Jesus Christ.

It truly is enjoyable when things are revealed when taking the stepping stones of growth. And I'm growing so much...Its really exciting to know I am that much closer to You every moment...Exciting to know that I'm in Your will...Exciting to know that there's a reason for all of this...and one of the most amazing parts of it is that I am entirely focused on having the most healthy relationship with You. Finally getting my priorities straight because now I know the things I can and cannot do unless You and I are healthy and I'm in step with the Spirit..Nice to not be consumed with worldly junk...Almost peaceful.. I can't say thankyou enough...just seems pointless...but know that I'm completely appreciative..I wouldn't have this any other way!
Who'da thought?

Thank You for the amazing weekend I was able to have with friends and for the little blessings You've given as confirmation that I'm doing the right things..Thank You for Your wisdom, will, strength and mercy...I am so thankful that I can rest in Your arms...that You are willing to lift me up again each time I fall so short...Hmm...What could be greater?
-Amen