"Never pretend to love that which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command." -Alan Watts
I've been off for weeks I think...
I've been extremely irritable and tired in all ways it's defined. Things are flying by and I feel like there isn't enough time in a day or even a week to get anything done. I think I need this fall break... I need to rest. I don't remember the last time I truly did?
I truly, TRULY, am beginning to realize how fickle feelings are and how I am to hand them back over to God in order for Him to be ruler of my life. Even though it may be from a plethora of insecurities, I realize worrying isn't going to do anything about it... Especially the guy thing... As James wrote in his blog about good ole' Johnny Mayer and the different application of his lyrics, I unfortunately have to agree with John's intended meaning lately...
Something that has been sticking with me for weeks now, has been Proverbs 31:30. Not the beauty or the fearful woman part, but the "CHARM IS DECEPTIVE" part. I've seen over and over how I've been deceived by it in the past and how I've deceived others... It's so ugly. I'm thankful for the reminders I have and for being able to live differently since then. It's so freeing to be healthy, or at least healthier.
Although I have insecurities, it's nice to recognize them, deal with them and just be myself. Although days might be ugly with me, I hope others can appreciate that I'm not wearing masks anymore...
Heya, I know what you mean about charm is deceptive. Thanks for sharing Aubs it is encouraging to hear someone else's spiritual and otherwise struggles in life. It reminds me that I am not alone and that there are other Christians struggling to stay afloat. you're great...
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